My connections to North Plainfield span many decades back to the 1920's when my maternal grandparents emigrated from the Tuscan region of Italy. They found a quiet cul-de-sac in North Plainfield that later opened up to the now dubiously famous and often dreaded Route 22!!
My mom, now 92, with a strong heart but a mind sadly robbed of short-term memory continues to live (with the help of a wonderful caregiver) in my childhood home in the East End side of town. Netherwood Avenue had a number of "kids" from the class of '68: Mary Jamin (our houses faced each other), Bruce Brokaw (a stone's throw away), Steve Barrett and Jimmy Sileneck. Our street also had a number of '67 grads that included Cliff Christenson, Eric Berger, Richie O'Brien and others. Ours was a street of one-car garaged homes with plenty of kids who used it as a playground or a place to gossip until a car would momentarily cause us to scatter and then return to the pavement. Today visits to my mom are always punctuated by poignant memories.
I had a head full of dreams and a heart full of hope as we prepared for graduation. I remember sitting in the sweltering heat with hundreds of people crammed into the gym while dripping in sweat with our maroon-and-white caps and gowns. Although I never verbalized
it, I considered myself outwardly compliant but inwardly defiant often wondering how on earth the information in school would truly be of benefit to my future life. Learning new things was exciting but studying was not my number-one priority. My teenaged self looked like a distracted daydreamer who could have and should have been more seriously dedicated to academics but was more concerned about life after 3:18 p.m.
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| Laraine Cox, 1967 |
There were a number of occasions when stupid or crazy could define my actions. Gerry Garatino Burns was usually a witness or co-conspirator who valiantly tried to rein me in with her concern and rational wisdom. Senior year sometimes found me stretching or distorting the truth much to my parents' chagrin. However, I couldn't hide the time when I (with Adie Jacobs Graubard as my front seat passenger) drove dangerously close to Mickey Dilonardo's car in the school parking lot after dark. I watched helplessly as I sheared off his front passenger door and saw it fall to the ground! To my horror Mickey drove to school the next day with a rope stretched across the vacant space where his car door was once attached. I was so embarrassed and wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry!
Ethel Abrams was most influential in my life and career choice. Former students mention her often as a favorite teacher and she cared deeply for us and our futures. We became friends after high school and I was grateful that my children got to know her as she joined in some of our family gatherings.
There was a day in our sophomore English class when a student was in extreme emotional distress to the point where things could have become violent. Some teachers might have immediately alerted Mr. Messer to handle what many would consider to be a discipline or behavioral outburst. Ethel, in her graceful and composed manner, showed no fear but only compassion and empathy for the student. She calmly handled the situation much to my amazement. Decades later I asked her about the incident and she gently reminded me that everyone has a story and we may not fully understand the pain and suffering one may be experiencing that is part of their story. I would also like to note that Mike Parlipiano and Mike Watson were sitting close by in the class and I felt safer by their mere presence.
I loved (still do) the music of the 60's which was sometimes silly, carefree, romantic but also carried a socially conscious tone and message that colored my perspective and sense of the world. I'm sure that my moderate hearing loss began in the summer of 1964 when my sister and I went to our first rock concert in Atlantic City featuring the Beatles. The screaming audience was deafening and we could not really hear the Beatles sing!!
Being part of several singing groups in high school allowed me to find my voice (figuratively and literally) when I lacked confidence and was too unsure of myself to speak up in class for fear of making a mistake. A long overdue thanks to Joe Lombardi for his absolute genius in creating the NPHS Singers and Stage Band. And Harry Lewis, if you are reading, I still love Rhapsody in Blue and think of you whenever I hear it being played. Those past musical experiences gave me the courage to audition for a college a capella group. I was thrilled to tour the east coast singing as part of my junior year in at Upsala College.
The Breaking News of the 60's was the war in Viet Nam, the assassinations of John Kennedy, Martin Luther King and then Bobby Kennedy as well as the growing social and civil unrest. We were not immune to its effects as Newark and Plainfield exploded in anger, rioting and death in 1967. My summer job in 1967 happened to be in Plainfield as a long-distance telephone operator at New Jersey Bell Telephone. During the riots we were shuttled to and from the job by the National Guard who drove us in police cars while their rifles were poised out of the car windows in case of sniper attacks. With gunfire piercing the hot summer nights and tensions growing high it was a summer that made me very aware of injustices, social inequities, and human rights.
During college I became interested in psychology and social work, and felt drawn to working in a field where I could help others and make a difference. I met my husband Tom when we were graduate students. I have transitioned from my career of 45 years that allowed me to have a "front row seat" as a counselor and psychotherapist. I was fortunate to work in a
variety of settings, a private practice, mental health facilities and most recently just ended 19 years as an elementary school counselor. I have loved this vocation that I call a "work of heart." Elementary Counselors did not exist in the 1950's but the world has dramatically changed and the need is great as children present many complicated lives that benefit from the TLC of parents and other supportive adults.
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| Laraine and husband Tom: 1979 |
My husband and I have two adult children (my daughter is currently an elementary school counselor also). In the earlier years of our marriage we experienced several pregnancy losses including our son Sean who was stillborn. We are grateful for our faith, family and friends (including Ethel Abrams) who were an important part of our healing journey. We also were able to work with couples who suffered similar losses. For the time being we live in New Providence (not Providence, Rhode Island) so we are able to assist my mother when needed.
A huge and very special THANK YOU to Howard Polskin who has been encouraging us to tell our stories. I have been touched by the sharings of others.
And as we know.....
No matter who we are....
Where we have traveled....
Or what we have done with our lives.....
We all have our own unique story to tell....
Blessings,
Laraine
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| Sister act: Laraine (right) and Claire in 2016. They attended a Beatles concert together in 1964 at the Jersey shore. |
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